Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Application for Permission to Date My Child

This is hilarious! Did anyone ever do this? I might be doing some investigations to their partner. But I am not going to ask them to fill the form. LOL! Jaga, mama very garang. That's what kiddo said.

Application For Permission To Date My Son/Daughter

Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician.

Name:
Date of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
IQ:
IC Number:
Driver's License Number:
Telephone:
Home Address:

Do you have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:

Number of years your parents have been married: ____

Any brothers or sisters? ____

Are they normal? ____

Do you own or have access to a van? ____

A truck with oversize tires? ____

A waterbed? ____

Do you have an eyebrow ring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____

Do you have a tattoo? ____

If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.

In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?

In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my son/daughter mean to you?

In fifty words or less, what does The Pill mean to you?

In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?

Mosque you attend: ____________________________

How often do you attend: ____________________________

When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest etc? ____________________________

Please fill in the blanks:

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________

A woman's place is in the ____________________________

The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________

When I meet a boy, the one thing I always notice about him first is ____________________________

Note: If answer begins with "D" or "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.

What do you want to be if you grow up?

I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.

Signature of applicant _________________________________

Signature of father _____________________________________

Signature of mother ____________________________________

Signature of Town Representative _________________________

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.
Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again.

Don't call me, I'll call you.

P/S: Kiddo told us he has two girlfriends. TWO!! One-two! OMG! Should I be watching him so he will not be a Romeo or Playboy later?
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