Monday, 25 February 2013

Why Is It Hard To "GO WITH THE FLOW"?

Do you know that you have a problem or issue with YOURSELF? I know I have. One issue that I failed to tackle is being PERFECT. I got really emotional and angry when things didn't go my way. It got worse during my red flag. Yes, period. I am easily irritated, sensitive and gosh, I even hate myself for being the EVERYTHING-MUST-BE-DONE mother and wife.

My significant other, well.. I noticed he is more relaxed and seems not to be worry much about house chores. He did helped me. Me on the other hand being the-perfectionist-mom-and-wife, had a little bit of hard time letting go of the responsibility. I do not know when to LET LOOSE and RELAX. I do not know when I need to stop being SO SERIOUS. I must stop to MULTITASK.

When I was with my baby girl, I folded my clothes. While she sits on my lap after bath, I put her down and went to the kitchen and wash the plates. When I told kiddo to hang his towel, I asked him to take out his school bag and make his bed at the same time. Kiddo asked for help with his homework, I sit beside him while checking on my phone. When my hubby is taking care of our baby, I expect him to do the same that I do. Multitask. Why? Because everytime when I want to have my own time, I think about.. Oh I haven't hang my clothes yet. I didn't take out my frozen food. I didn't sweep all my fallen hair in our bedroom. Oh I haven't fill in kiddo's water bottle. I forgot to take out the rubbish. Oh I didn't do this yet, I didn't do that.

It is no fun you know. There are times I hate myself for being ME. Why can't I go with the flow? What if I decided to let my house in a mess? What if their shoes are not in a straight line? What if the table are not clean? What's the worse can happen if I forget to switch off the washer? So what if my pans and pots un-washed and high like KLCC tower in the sink?

There's too many in my head. Too much to remember and do. All I want is a happy home life. I do not want to be stressed out with the responsibility of being a mother and wife.

P/S: Taurus does not start out with the intention of getting stuck. They simply want to get things done, and it's that steady, dogged persistence that winds up being viewed as stubbornness. There keyword is STUBBORN.
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